Which TV show did you choose to watch yesterday, and which one did you decide to record? Which restaurant did you elect to visit this weekend, and what did you choose to eat? Which job did you decide to opt for? Earlier in life, what profession did you select to pursue? Didn't you make choices regarding whom you befriended and whom you dated?
No, I'm not conducting a survey here...just thinking that life is about so many choices and so many decisions, and decisions are made based on judgements we make. Based on the information we have at a given time, and the opportunities that come our way, we make judgements first, and then choices. A choice cannnot be made without making a judgement. We judge what is likely to be suitable to our tastes and make choices based on that.
As intelligent human beings, all of us are judgemental. Judgements we make can relate to practical matters as well as abstract ones. We judge and review the movies we watch, the songs we listen to, and the books we read. We analyze and determine whether a given locality would be suitable for us to live in, or in terms of appreciation of real-estate costs, safety of the neighborhood, quality of the school district, and based on these and other factors, we make a judgement about buying a house in the locality.
Yet, being judgemental is considered a derogatory term. Are we judgemental when we judge for purposes other than for making choices pertaining to our own lives? So, that means we are permitted to judge people, when we are trying to make a choice about whether they can be our friends or not.
Most of us do exercise the option to evaluate and judge those around us even if we are not actively interested in making friends with the person in question, and this happens at an unconscious level. Perhaps it is the parameters one uses to judge that make us judgemental (as used in the derogatory sense), rather than the actual act of judging. If our parameters are shallow like looks, money, etc., that is if we tend to "judge a book by its cover," does that make us judgemental, or shallow, or both?
The truth is, all of us would like to be accepted for what we are, not evaluated, second guessed, or analyzed. We hate to have our actions and words misinterpreted, and motives assigned to each thing we say or do. We hate to be ridiculed for not conforming, speaking a different language (figuratively or literally), or having a different point of view. And if this is what we hate being subjected to, we shouldn't practise this behavior either.
It's hard to tell where one draws the line between living intelligently and making intelligent choices on the one hand, and being unduly judgemental on the other.
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Cheti
If some one says "Hey , I am not n judgemental" - that person is a sure shot hypocrite !
My view exactly!!!
Last but one paragraph is judgemental you say. Now don't be so judgemental!!!!
I thought it's natural human tendency to NOT want to be judged, single out, labelled, second guessed...Perhaps it's not ...and it's just ME...Are there Sulekha personalities who LIKE to be judged, scrutinized, evaluated.....Well, there's no accounting for tastes
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WL
It sure is an ongoing process :) ....thanks for stopping by.
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bina
the key here is to be discerning and for that we have to have some values system to go by
and that should not be based on fame ,fortune but qualities of the person- innate goodness
I second that !!
Thanks, appreciate your input.
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Anne
I agree...the main problem is bias and prejudice that can make our opinions skewed and unbalanced.....
LM
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Lakshmi
Sure, judemental has negative connotations and judging is deemed to be an objective act. Sometimes, we believe we are being objective in our judgements, but we aren't. More than being "less informed", we are often biased or ready to jump to conclusions..
It's hard to know where to draw the line in one's own personal behavior ....sometimes going with that "Gut feeling" works the best, although that makes us judgemental rather than objective.
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scribbling pad
That's kind of true... sometimes we are judgemental unconsciously rather than secretly, and once those abstract thoughts take concrete shape, negative vibes can be the outcome :)
we are judgemental every moment secretly. The minute the secret is out, the enemity starts.
Thanks for stopping by .
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Greogory
I agree with you that our choices and opinions must be based on "real circumstances and lead us to positive outcomes." Yes, objective people tend to be less *judgemental* .
Also, people don't take kindly to unasked for advice, but not all unasked for advice necessarily comes from *judgemental* people...there are some well-wishers as well who offer advice too.
Enjoyed your contribution to the debate.
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dear Anne-G
True. We can't help being judgemental in our life. But the derogatory menaing of judgemental derives out of the conditioned state of human mind, which tends to value-judge, for instance, a work of art from the socially and psychologically tutored manner. That's what happened to one of our greatest modern artists like M F Hussein. His controversial canvas was value-judged without either appreciating it open heartedly or not attempting to seeing it with one's own eyes. As man is vulnerable to the power of hypocrisy and prejudices he becomes judgemental many a time unconsciously, which is harmful to the harmony of human society.
An excellent blog that stirs debates. I wish others take part in the creative argument too.
Regards
Satish
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Anne,
No comment this time...don't wanna judge
PF
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